Boston: A Cab Story

So this morning I was driving along on this road, one lane ya dig. I slowed down to go around some construction and kept going along at 40 which is the speed limit. So I see the taxi minivan behind me tailgating me. Being a huge asshole as I am wont to be I slow down gradually until around I reach around 25, cruising at that speed for a quarter mile or so. The road moves into two lanes at the light so I swerve back and forth for a second so the dick taxi can't get by me which he very much wants to do. I pull up to the light to the taxi's right and roll down my window, he sees I want to talk as does he.

He's a white guy, probably in his 40's, looks very weathered. The following exchange happens.

OP: "Yo why you tailgating me dick?"

Taxi: "Ay the speed limits 40 budday"

OP" "I was going 45 dude" (i lied)

Taxi: "Bullshit guy, you're full of it"

He laughs.

OP: "Yeah well try not to be a dick in the future alright?"

He smirks again and shakes his head.

OP: Have a good day man

Taxi: You too guy.

We both rolled up our windows and drove forward. Gotta love beantown.

other life updates:

- to paraphrase mitch hedberg, i dont have a new girlfriend but i do know a girl who would be very upset if she saw me write that.

- the past 10 days I've been taking at least my body weight (in grams) of protein each day, a multivitamin and have only drank once (this past saturday night). i've gained 3 lbs in this time frame up to 160 y'all. (it's officially confirmed, there is no way ali can be 5'9, 150 and jacked. logistically makes no sense. 85 is a fat liar.) 20 more days of doing this daily and then im taking a week off. ya you guessed it, i planned for my rest week to be the week all the fatties go to the gym before they quit cuz they're weak. i generally love seeing obese people at the gym cuz it means they kind of get it but not that week, that week is all the losers.

- The Colts are 9-4. I thought I'd be cheering for the Broncos and Peyton by now exclusively.

oh ya. and i added a new emoticon this am.

i wish had more exchanges like that on the road.

W0rd^ OP I got a new non-gf/gf...shes on a radio show too so shes hip..but not real gf material..lets double up and let the non GF's gosssip while we sip fine liquor and laugh at how they think they're in a real relationship

Lmao at that cab driver exchange

Sounds like something my grandfather would have said (he was from Fall Rivah)

I remember once we were driving to the store and some young tryhard fgt pulled up next to him and said "hay you wanna race??" he just went, in his thick Mass accent, "ah, well have none of dat deh" and took a drag of his pall mall

Fuckin ay

Lol at the road rage episode.

Most car drivers here wont want to throw words with me because im a van driver and van drivers are notoriously thuggish on the roads.
People just sit there clutching the wheel looking dead forward, too shook to even acknowledge the raging man in a van.

My girl (kat) has a 6 year old and is divorced so she doesnt really care about our status. She just want to be together and thats fine with me cus if I marry her, the child support goes bye bye and her ex is RICH and not involved in her sons life.

when i first lived in the bean i would express some socal flavor road rage on those terrible driving massholes and the reaction was always like "what are you getting so mad about fella? bfd i drive like a dick"

so then i stopped getting angry and just learned to go with the passive-aggressive flow

Pretty much daily I extend my entire arm out the window and rise it up above the car roof and wave my middle finger around back and forth if someone honks at me.

Two weeks ago we were in gridlock and everyone was honking and I got so pissed, I actually got out of the car and yelled like I havent yelled since my hardcore band "your horn is not a magic wand" Then I got back in my car and people on the sidewalk were like "fuck yea" and thumbs up and people stopped honking. I was furious that day.

One time I flipped someone off and they flashed a gun so I need to lay back on the finger when not in white areas.

I literally flicked off a lady probably 40 minutes and called her a cunt cuz a van was taking a left as was I and he was letting me go and she zoomed by going straight so i stopped short. She drove by slowly trying to talk shit, bam, eagle right in her girl.

(not trying to levine here but showing the good/bad of my personality)

At target about 30 minutes later i had an armful of stuff and once there was room i put it all down on the belt and made room for the next person. I didn't know but it happened to be this lil ol man, probably like 5 feet even from his age and he had three cheap mattel board games. I asked if they were for his grandkids and he said yes, yes they were. I questioned whether he'd get mad (old people can be real prideful) but i picked the partition up and told him I wanted to do something nice for the holidays and offered to buy the board games, he said I didn't have to but insisted.

im like a pretzel m and m. im salty and sweet.

i remember ragin at this fgt for about 20 miles of the I5 in pdx over something stupid and when it came time for him to exit we just waved at each other like nbd, thanks for playing.

there was another time i was caught in traffic behind this gorilla yt who was rage thrashing the interior of his sweet s-10 pickup screaming about the traffic and then when it let up he just got in the slow lane and was passed by everybody.

I haven't been posting much, sorry fellas, I really want to contribute more to keep this board alive but i've been pretty busy at work.

i still havent cheated on my girl, we are happy as ever.

i am going to be taking one to two months and going on the road for work in march and april, should be interesting to see how that goes.

clark what supplements do you use?

i've been going heavy with the ON gold standard whey (just cuz its cheap and i can't get enough protein through food alone), a multivitamin obv and musclephram pre-workout. 14 days with that regimen so far with very good results, gonna reevaluate my plan at 30 days.

drop knowledge itt.

guys i grabbed a table in the food court today to write an address on an envelope and this fat old douche with a super hot lady friend tried to alpha me out like "Hey guy you eating here? can we get these seats?" which is obviously a reasonable request, but he said it like he was the king of everything and i was an asshole for writing on my envelope. i got up obviously but i felt thoroughly thwarted, and i thought about that moment all day, wondering what recourse i could have taken. in the end i decided i should have charged him ten bucks